Domestic violence is no laughing matter which is why I’m stepping away from my usual humorous approach, and giving this post the respect it deserves. It has always been my opinion that abuse is in the eye of the beholder. What people are and are not willing to put up with is really their business. To some individuals, being on the receiving end of verbal put-downs or snide remarks is a normal way of life and they turn the other cheek. However, to many individuals, this could be considered abusive. Neglect, an under-rated form of abuse, deprives a person, young or old, of the love or environment needed to grow and thrive. Physical violence however is without a doubt an overt form of abuse and should be taken seriously.
Taylor Armstrong first entered our households as the frail and mousy wife and mother on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Hearing the things she said and the way she interacted with the other ladies on the show was indicative of someone who had been traumatized. She seemed afraid of her husband, hesitant to even broach the thought of leaving him. Before ‘Housewives’ had aired, reports surfaced detailing the abusive relationship she was involved in with her now deceased husband, Russell Armstrong. In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Taylor claimed Russell “grabbed me by the back of the neck and shoved me against the wall and he said, ‘if you ever make my children a pizza without a vegetable again, I’ll kill you.” Why do men do this? As a man, I’m ashamed to even read this not only because of his actions, but because of his motivation for doing it in the first place. That a man would lay a hand on his wife over a PIZZA is beyond me.
By the time Real Housewives of Beverly Hills aired, Armstrong was in the middle of a very messy marriage. As Taylor has noted, had it not been for the show, her situation could have been a lot worse. “If cameras were not in my life, there’s a good chance I wouldn’t be sitting here today.” This, I feel, is a very important statement because I am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. Taylor goes on to say that she pursued a spot on the show “subconsciously” to bring her problems into the public eye. Smart move, Taylor. Who knows what condition she’d be in had she not done the show? Perhaps, this was a blessing in disguise.
Following the release of details on Taylor’s abuse, Russell was found dead in his home on August 15th, due to suicide. Shortly after his death, pictures surfaced of Taylor’s wounded face at the hands of Russell. She admitted to having lied to doctors about their 5 year old daughter kicking her in the face, causing the injuries. Doctors were quick to notice however that her injuries were not caused by a 5 year old. On the contrary, they were indicative of blunt trauma by a fist and that Taylor could have easily gone blind from an injury like that. I don’t wish bad things on anyone; however I’m also not one to sit on the sidelines and watch as someone gets taken advantage of. Russell is where he belongs. He may not have faced the justice of the legal system, but he has certainly been punished.
Why do people stay in abusive relationships? Why are we so quick to jump into a relationship that is bad for us but find it so hard to leave when that relationship causes us pain? What makes us stick around? "Multivariate studies suggest that income is the strongest predictor of leaving or staying. Economic dependency on the batterer is the primary reason women do not leave" (Kim & Gray, 2008). This could very well be the case seeing as how none of us had even heard of Taylor Armstrong until she appeared on RHOBH. According to her personal website, the aptly named TaylorArmstrong.com, she was able to support herself with her own career until she met Russell in 2004. Perhaps the money he brought to the table was enough to make her stick around and endure his unfair abuse. Another fear she may have had was the potential abuse of their daughter, Kennedy. It is ironic how this is a common fear for many women yet their fear of leaving only puts them and their children at greater risk. Countless studies can be done to try and determine why certain women never leave. However at the end of the day, it is up to the individual woman to decide when that time is safe and right for her.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/19/taylor-armstrong-russell-_n_970898.html
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/09/taylor-armstrong-russell-made-me-blame-daughter-5-eye-injuries
Kim, J., & Gray, K. A. (2008). Leave or stay?: Battered women's decision after intimate partner violence. Journal Of Interpersonal Violence, 23(10), 1465-1482. doi:10.1177/0886260508314307
Domestic abuse is definitely no laughing matter what so ever. It is very sad that guys or anyone would abuse the person that they "love", I mean if someone does that is that consider true love? Of course not. Thank you for sharing. Good Job.
ReplyDeleteYour belief about abuse being in the eye of the beholder reminded me of a comment that was made in class today. The comment was in reference to the fact that some people just don't know what abuse is and how it is defined by the law. In a social constructive way abuse is in the eye of the beholder, until we are all educated on the meaning of abuse. You are hilarious and I love your blog! I can't stop reading.
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